A Bag of Lollipops
About forty years ago, I read the Reader's Digest version of a book about a couple who fell in love and decided to have a baby together. And they all lived happily ever after.
Only she shouldn't have lived at all because she was being treated for cancer when they met. She told him she wanted a baby and he said "ok" even though they weren't married. She got pregnant and stopped taking her cancer treatments to protect the baby.
After the baby was born, she asked if they could have a second child together. He went and talked to her doctor who gave her a clean bill of health, so he went home to her and dumped a bag of lollipops in her lap as his way of saying "Yes, we can have another baby" because she constantly sucked on lollipops with the first pregnancy.
This is not the only story I ever read about someone with a serious medical issue getting better without going through the recommended medical treatments. Doctors seem to never follow-up and try to figure out why such patients get better.
When I was seeing a CF specialist -- a pulmonologist -- and I began getting better, he just began scheduling me fewer appiontments and expressed zero interest in how I was miraculously improving. He told me "I have patients who need me." In other words, seeing me was a waste of his time. His time was better spent helping people getting sicker, not talking to someone getting better and wondering what was helping her.
Doctors and science have no vested interest in figuring out what works for patients like me and the nursing student who beat cancer by falling in love and having a baby instead of finishing her chemo. It doesn't pay their bills, much less make them rich, like new drug discoveries can potentially do.
And then people like me get actively bullied into silence on public forums and dismissed with phrases like "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." and "It's anecdotal."
Which means someone like me has no hope whatsoever of ever making a difference in this world. There is no path forward for someone like me. It's not even socially acceptable to speak of what we have learned and rest assured others are not going to vouch for us or provide supporting evidence.
The risk is quite high that me blogging about my experiences will result in some unethical asshole stealing the ideas here, doing the lab work or whatever, claiming credit for it and never mentioning where they got the original info.
I didn't do this to try to change the world and the world has treated me extremely abusively for years for even trying to TALK about my life and my experiences or even trying to ask health questions on public forums to try to help myself. I am a pariah and nothing will fix that.
People who have successfully used my info to improve their lives will not come forward and admit it. They don't want to be mistreated in the same way I have been and their story is also "anecdotal."
And I only leave this shit site up because I saw a TV show years ago where someone said that when Joan of Arc said "Fine. Okay. Let's play it your way. I LIED. I MADE IT UP. God doesn't talk to me." they not only didn't let her out of prison, the guards likely began raping ner and that probably had not happened prior to that for fear of "Well, what is she IS chosen of God?"
People have treated me abusively for years for being too competent and a woman, or something stupid like that. They will NOT be nicer if I de facto tell these awful assholes "You win! I made it all up!"
It won't get me left alone. It will just empower awful people to go to a no holds barred level of abuse and not bother anymore with any social niceties at all.
Because the world is a shitty place full of shitty people and most of you assholes do NOT deserve anything good. You CHOSE to make this world into a cesspit. You LIKE it that way.
I can't make it better. You don't want it to be better.
But taking this down will NOT improve my situation. It will make it worse. So fuck you and the horse you road in on, you abusive dirtbags. You will be dirtbags no matter what I do because it's who you choose to be and there is nothing I can do about that.
Only she shouldn't have lived at all because she was being treated for cancer when they met. She told him she wanted a baby and he said "ok" even though they weren't married. She got pregnant and stopped taking her cancer treatments to protect the baby.
After the baby was born, she asked if they could have a second child together. He went and talked to her doctor who gave her a clean bill of health, so he went home to her and dumped a bag of lollipops in her lap as his way of saying "Yes, we can have another baby" because she constantly sucked on lollipops with the first pregnancy.
This is not the only story I ever read about someone with a serious medical issue getting better without going through the recommended medical treatments. Doctors seem to never follow-up and try to figure out why such patients get better.
When I was seeing a CF specialist -- a pulmonologist -- and I began getting better, he just began scheduling me fewer appiontments and expressed zero interest in how I was miraculously improving. He told me "I have patients who need me." In other words, seeing me was a waste of his time. His time was better spent helping people getting sicker, not talking to someone getting better and wondering what was helping her.
Doctors and science have no vested interest in figuring out what works for patients like me and the nursing student who beat cancer by falling in love and having a baby instead of finishing her chemo. It doesn't pay their bills, much less make them rich, like new drug discoveries can potentially do.
And then people like me get actively bullied into silence on public forums and dismissed with phrases like "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." and "It's anecdotal."
Which means someone like me has no hope whatsoever of ever making a difference in this world. There is no path forward for someone like me. It's not even socially acceptable to speak of what we have learned and rest assured others are not going to vouch for us or provide supporting evidence.
The risk is quite high that me blogging about my experiences will result in some unethical asshole stealing the ideas here, doing the lab work or whatever, claiming credit for it and never mentioning where they got the original info.
I didn't do this to try to change the world and the world has treated me extremely abusively for years for even trying to TALK about my life and my experiences or even trying to ask health questions on public forums to try to help myself. I am a pariah and nothing will fix that.
People who have successfully used my info to improve their lives will not come forward and admit it. They don't want to be mistreated in the same way I have been and their story is also "anecdotal."
And I only leave this shit site up because I saw a TV show years ago where someone said that when Joan of Arc said "Fine. Okay. Let's play it your way. I LIED. I MADE IT UP. God doesn't talk to me." they not only didn't let her out of prison, the guards likely began raping ner and that probably had not happened prior to that for fear of "Well, what is she IS chosen of God?"
People have treated me abusively for years for being too competent and a woman, or something stupid like that. They will NOT be nicer if I de facto tell these awful assholes "You win! I made it all up!"
It won't get me left alone. It will just empower awful people to go to a no holds barred level of abuse and not bother anymore with any social niceties at all.
Because the world is a shitty place full of shitty people and most of you assholes do NOT deserve anything good. You CHOSE to make this world into a cesspit. You LIKE it that way.
I can't make it better. You don't want it to be better.
But taking this down will NOT improve my situation. It will make it worse. So fuck you and the horse you road in on, you abusive dirtbags. You will be dirtbags no matter what I do because it's who you choose to be and there is nothing I can do about that.
