28 days
It's been 28 days since my last post. I have just reread it and edited out a few typoes.
I don't know what a biological month is. Is it four weeks? Is it 30 days?
If it's four weeks, that's today I guess. And based on the one prior experience I had of throwing up "gunk" and taking "a month" to recover, I have been waiting for the month to pass.
My chronic edema is down enough that I can imagine that if I survive the year, I might actually get rid of it all eventually and look pretty "normal" again someday. It's down enough that I am realizing I have no core body strength.
I can't sit up for hours on my own strength. Apparently, my edema had been holding me upright at the computer for years and now that I've shrunk I spend a lot of time hunched over which is not a good thing.
For the past decade roughly, My Occupation has been writing. It's never really been enough money but it was what I could do while convalescing for years and years.
I will likely be abandoning a lot of my writing projects. A lot of my writing has basically been me writing about me and my life and I had my reasons for that and I don't know how to really handle it some other way and pursue certain topics, like health stuff and parenting as two examples.
But I've learned that there is a great deal of downside to talking so much about myself on the internet and I see insufficient upside to make it make any sense to keep doing what I have been doing.
And if I can manage to find the solutions I need in time to not end up back on the street, I might be well enough to do something else with my life, something that makes more sense as an occupation and has more hope of paying my bills.
I will likely continue to write but I don't have any idea what that will look like in the future. I feel like I have a shot at getting my life back, whatever that means after twenty years of getting well while the world treats me abusively for trying to talk about it and a decade or more of extreme poverty.
How can that happen? I don't know.
The things I thought would "save" me financially, like getting a particular job locally, have not panned out and are not going to pan out. I don't know how to fix this.
But I'm clearly at a very important turning point in my life and whatever the future is, I think it probably looks rather different from the past few years.
Maybe I can start a clothing line like I have long wanted to do.
I don't know what a biological month is. Is it four weeks? Is it 30 days?
If it's four weeks, that's today I guess. And based on the one prior experience I had of throwing up "gunk" and taking "a month" to recover, I have been waiting for the month to pass.
My chronic edema is down enough that I can imagine that if I survive the year, I might actually get rid of it all eventually and look pretty "normal" again someday. It's down enough that I am realizing I have no core body strength.
I can't sit up for hours on my own strength. Apparently, my edema had been holding me upright at the computer for years and now that I've shrunk I spend a lot of time hunched over which is not a good thing.
For the past decade roughly, My Occupation has been writing. It's never really been enough money but it was what I could do while convalescing for years and years.
I will likely be abandoning a lot of my writing projects. A lot of my writing has basically been me writing about me and my life and I had my reasons for that and I don't know how to really handle it some other way and pursue certain topics, like health stuff and parenting as two examples.
But I've learned that there is a great deal of downside to talking so much about myself on the internet and I see insufficient upside to make it make any sense to keep doing what I have been doing.
And if I can manage to find the solutions I need in time to not end up back on the street, I might be well enough to do something else with my life, something that makes more sense as an occupation and has more hope of paying my bills.
I will likely continue to write but I don't have any idea what that will look like in the future. I feel like I have a shot at getting my life back, whatever that means after twenty years of getting well while the world treats me abusively for trying to talk about it and a decade or more of extreme poverty.
How can that happen? I don't know.
The things I thought would "save" me financially, like getting a particular job locally, have not panned out and are not going to pan out. I don't know how to fix this.
But I'm clearly at a very important turning point in my life and whatever the future is, I think it probably looks rather different from the past few years.
Maybe I can start a clothing line like I have long wanted to do.
