I did not sleep enough

My sons claim -- because they must be lying rat bastards (that's humor, btw) -- that I was probably asleep by 1am. And I recall being online at like 10:30am or 11 something. I'm not sure.

So my sons estimate I probably had like ten hours of sleep. And I tried to go back to bed because I was exhausted and I failed to go back to sleep, which is aggravating as hell. Because regardless of however much sleep I did or did not have, it absolutely was not ENOUGH sleep.

I wrote a blog post elsewhere not long ago about how r/homeless was looking for new mods and considered applying and then decided against. And today they invited me to apply.

So I did, but like it was snarky and too truthful to be good and I was my usual NOT PC, overly open self. And after submitting it, I went back to the thread on the forum and saw that the ENTIRE application would be posted publicly.

Um. Not a good thing.

Long story short, I ended up submitting a second one and they can judge both, and submit the more PC one publicly if they want the membership to vote on my name.

I figure the entire world hates me. I mean, you can tell by how it has treated me in recent years. It isn't even trying to pretend to be nice to me.

But while I was getting divorced, I learned to just ask men what they found attractive and I learned that other people never see me the way I imagine they do. So I have sort of a morbid curiosity as to how r/homeless members will react to seeing my name thrown in the hat.

And it is morbid. I have such a long history of being banned left, right and center that this cannot possibly go well.

My mental health needs tending to. I wanted to write this post first and next up is one of those whackadoodle sounding posts that I have a long history of writing and then redacting. I'm trying to redact less, so that makes this hard to write because I have to wonder how much I want to "own my words" as someone once said to me who was a critic, but was impressed with my willingness to say "I wasn't trying to say the things you are reading into my words, but I'm not apologizing nor taking any of it back. Let me clarify that THIS is what I was trying to convey."

I have always cherished that remark by that person, that they respected how much I owned my words and stood by them.

Anyway, hi, r/homeless and mods. Sorry I wasted your time by actually filling out your app. I know I'm not anything you want. No hard feelings. Time for me to go sound EVEN NUTTIER elsewhere.